Yos.em.it.e Part 3: Bears, Bears, Bears

I don't like spiders.
I don't like snakes.
And I don't like the idea of being in close proximity to bears.

It's not that I have a particular hatred for these creatures. I just can't handle that element of surprise--when you're hiking up a trail and about to put a foot down when WHOA there's a rattle snake all acting cool and blending in with the scenery like it WANTS you to step on it. Or, you're minding your own business, weeding the backyard and WHOA the fattest little black widow you've ever seen starts crawling up your pant leg. I mean, why can't freaky-crawly-slithery-dangerous creatures be colored in neon lights with disco music blasting from their fingernails or something? I'd give them their space and they could give me mine. Not that I really buy into that whole "they're more afraid of you than you are of them" mumbo jumbo.

Growing up I wasn't too freaked out about bears. We went camping all the time and I never came across one. My parents never talked about them much (probably, in part, due to my overactive imagination), so I didn't really think about them either. The closest I got to studying their habits was listening to my mom read from a book that I loved:

Bears, Bears, Bears.
On the stairs.
Under chairs.
Brushing hair...

You get the idea. I was much more concerned with snakes & spiders joining me for a midnight nap than large furry bears looking for a midnight snack. Of course, we also spent a good portion of that time camping in the desert where the risk of running into a bear is pretty minimal.

That all changed when a young boy was snatched from his tent by a bear in a canyon near our home. I had camped at that very same camp ground multiple times so it all became very real to me. I've been a little nervous about bears ever since.

Our first night in Yosemite started fairly late. When we finally found a camping spot we were tired and the last thing I wanted to do was unpack the car. But, rules are that you can't keep food of any kind in your tent (obvious) or vehicle (dang). I'd never been camping in a park where the rules were so strict so of course that raised my anxiety level a little bit.

We unpacked the car and got our tents set up. I checked all my pockets for chap stick and rounded up all the sunscreen. Apparently bears have a nose for both. I was worried that we wouldn't be able to fit it all in some tiny metal box but little did I realize how massive these things were! If I wasn't a wee bit claustrophobic I would have had plenty of room for my sleeping bag in here:

The first night we camped here, all of the warning signs were messing with my head. I wondered if I'd wake up to a bear licking the chap stick off my lips, or if I'd signal our location with the deodorant I'd used earlier that day. As a result I had multiple dreams about the large furry creatures crowding our tent all night long.

Our second night in Yosemite we sat down at the table and made a proper meal. We threw the doors to our bear locker wide open while we rummaged around for potatoes, meat, vegetables and other goods. We then turned our full attention to savoring our delicious dinner. It was dark by the time we started eating. I remember laughing about something and feeling fairly relaxed when Katie paused, a timid finger poking the air as she very slowly said:

"What....what....what is that???" 

Something big, and dark was rummaging around the bear locker. Brent jumped up. I jumped up. I whipped my head around and was ready to run when my siblings heard me swear for the first time in their lives.

Did I mention that curses fall from my tongue when I'm scared? Well, I was completely freaked out! I'm not sure if they were more shocked by our surprise visitor or that my last words might keep me from heaven.

That is when everyone immediately started laughing, and might I add--quoting--my words of terror. Turns out that large dogs look suspiciously like black bears in the darkness. We had left the locker open and he was making good use of our neglect. Katie started singing "I see your True Colors shining through."

I guess we all have a few of them.